THE SECOND REALM: ORANGE — Finding herself again

But the longer she spent among them, the less certain she was of that conclusion. Yes, the laces argued and became terribly tangled, but they also laughed, sought one another out, and shared their days. Suddenly, Skyblue began to notice the knots less and the companionship more.

She thought of Ernesto, so far away. It seemed sad to have a tree for a confidant. Then she felt ashamed of the thought, but the comparison was already lodged in her mind.

Even the unhappiest lace had someone, she told herself. Someone to argue with, at least. She went back to her orange tree alone every night.

She remembered her parents’ warnings: she would end up alone; no dragon would want to share a life with such a difficult creature. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps the others knew something she was incapable of learning.

From then on, the days grew monotonous. Laces might be talking all around her, and still she felt she had no one to talk to. She spent so long watching gatherings from the outside that, at last, she decided to try joining in.

She approached a group that lived near her tree. This time, when they invited her, she accepted. She learned their games of approaching and withdrawing, of saying yes without seeming too interested, and of feigning indifference when she wanted to stay.

They welcomed her enthusiastically. A dragon was an extraordinary novelty. Everyone wanted to spend time with her, and Skyblue enjoyed being expected, being called for, arriving somewhere and feeling that her presence mattered.

At first, it was all fun. Then she began saying yes when she wanted to say no. She smiled when something bothered her and kept her questions to herself so as not to spoil the moment. She knew which comment would earn a laugh, which gesture would please, and which opinion was best left unspoken.

‘It doesn’t take much,’ she thought.

And yet, each night it became a little harder to return to the tree. As soon as she was alone, an emptiness drove her to seek out another gathering. There were always laces willing to keep the party going, so she always found a way to avoid listening to herself.

Time passed like that. Company ceased to be a pleasure and became a necessity. She made commitments to some while trying to please others. She accepted invitations that clashed, let herself be taken where she did not want to go, and feared disappointing anyone who asked for her presence.

Soon she was tangled in so many bonds that she did not know which to loosen first. She had a place among them, she kept telling herself. How could she risk losing them?

One afternoon, surrounded by laces talking and tugging at her, she tried to remember what she had wanted to do when she woke that morning. She could not. She searched for something simpler: what she liked, what amused her, what she would have chosen if no one were waiting for an answer.

She could not answer that, either.

Silently, she said her name.

‘Skyblue.’

She repeated it several times. It was her name, but she no longer knew whom she was calling.

She had become a popular, exhausted dragon at the center of a knot everyone came to. She felt lonelier than she had while watching from the outside.

Then she remembered Helio’s words: “Don’t betray yourself to belong to a group.”

She managed to break free and returned to the orange tree. There she sat, without seeking another invitation to fill the silence.

Was this the price of company? To stop recognizing herself? She thought of the dwarves. Among them, she had never had to pretend or hide her questions. She had worked, learned, rested, and laughed without anyone demanding that she be like a dwarf.

There had to be another way.

It had been a long time since she had felt present. After the Red Realm, she had thought she would never lose herself again. She had heard Helio’s warning about ascending and descending as though it were advice for someone else’s journey.

The thought made her laugh unexpectedly. No one was there to applaud or disapprove. It was her laughter, and simply hearing it was enough to make her feel she was beginning to find herself.