THE SIXTH REALM: INDIGO — Recognizing fear

“Some travelers have fallen so deeply in love with their creations that they’ve become trapped inside them,” Helio said after a while. “On a denser plane of this realm, they build worlds where they can feel powerful. They defend them, make them grander, and end up forgetting what they wanted that power for.”

Skyblue thought she could make out figures beneath the surface of the water, enclosed in harsh light. Each seemed to be fighting others, surrounded by walls of its own making. The more it fought, the more alone it became.

“They’ve become like empty shells,” Helio continued. “But they still believe the enemy is outside.”

The dragon shivered. What if the same thing happened to her? What if the joy of making things appear was already the beginning of a trap?

The stone beneath her paws tilted. A dark whirlpool opened around her and began to drag her down.

“Come back, Skyblue.”

Helio’s voice was firm and close.

“You don’t need to go in there to understand it. Feel where you are.”

Skyblue tried to feel her paws against the ground. She found the faintest support. She breathed, and the whirlpool began to dissolve until she was beside the stream, trembling.

“Fear can trap your attention too,” Helio told her. “You’ve just felt it happen.”

“I thought I’d already learned not to be afraid.”

“You’ve learned to recognize fear. That isn’t the same as never feeling it again.”

Skyblue lowered her head. One of the little voices was already preparing to explain how much ground she had lost.

“You don’t need to punish yourself,” Helio went on. “If you’re afraid, acknowledge that you’re afraid. If you discover selfishness or meanness in yourself, look at them without pretending they don’t exist. What you hide is still at work, even when you’ve given it a prettier name.”

The dragon remembered how hard she worked to seem calm when she wasn’t.

“Is recognizing it enough?”

“It’s a beginning. Then you can work with it. An alchemist needs to know what’s in the crucible. Calling lead gold won’t turn it into gold.”

Skyblue gave a weak laugh. She was tired of being afraid of herself.

“You haven’t come this far without making mistakes,” Helio added. “Now you know how to ask for help. The dwarves have recovered that connection, as have the creatures in the higher regions you’ve visited. You’re learning to recognize it.”

Skyblue thought of Yaseee. She had seen him work, rest, and give thanks with the same trust. She laid a paw on her chest: beneath her fear, she could still find her guide’s warmth.

“Learning will take as long as it takes,” Helio continued. “You couldn’t go back to your old life now as though nothing had happened. The path is part of you.”

For a long while, Skyblue simply watched the water. As evening fell, she returned to the oak. She ate what she found in her satchel, and before going to sleep she gave thanks for having recognized her fear in time to ask for help.